Toilet paper marks the unexploded bomb.

One of the deadliest weapons I ever held in my hands would be a white phosphorus grenade.
Those grenades created a blinding fireworks display that could burn through skin and bone.
But a far more insidious remnant of man’s capacity for destruction lies and waits in the form of unexploded ordinance.

I vividly remember a characteristically cloudless and bright day on the anti-tank practise range.
B Company was tasked to do a sweep for unexploded ordinance.
The whole area was littered with munition fragments.
The elite armoured divisions and specialist forces literally had a field day while on manoeuvres.
This left the infantry recruits to clean up.

So how did “sweeping a firing range” actually transpire?
Much to our amusement each one of us was issued with a roll of single-ply toilet paper.
yes, single-ply – The better quality rolls were reserved for the officer’s bathrooms.
I guess we were expecting to receive state of the art metal detectors, and there we were – Fully armed with bog rolls.
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Stoic Lemonade – Practical Happiness: Light within the real darkness.

What is the true darkness of our time?

We tend to think of darkness as something carrying a negative value.
But the darkness we perceive is nothing more than an object that absorbs light.
Darkness invites us to generate more energy, to burn brighter as human beings.

There are those who manage to dim existing light.
We are drawn towards light.
But we approach “light” with entitled opinionated comments, callous actions, egoism and militant self-centeredness.
We can succeed in reducing light to a mere flicker – or even extinguishing it.
This is the real darkness that haunts humanity.
I don’t fear the dark, I fear those who kill the light.

Light is energy.
Withhold one asinine or truly hurtful comment from social media today.
This is already a very small, albeit practical way of not draining someone else’s energy.
And ultimately – not depleting any of your own.

Words by me, picture by

Stoic Lemonade and practical happiness: Fabulous orgasm, fake life!

You can hardly pick up a magazine without an article promising you some “mind blowing sex.”
The media would like you to subscribe to their methods for landing that dream job or flattening the tummy with yet another miracle diet.
Advice out there promises better saving plans, healthier lifestyles and longevity.
Movie reviews guide you towards a 120 Minute thrill-ride.
Esteemed critics assist you with the selection of a perfect restaurant.

But what happens in the moments between your “monuments.”
What should you do in the hours between the great orgasms and the dream gym-routine?
You will have to figure that out by yourself.
Nobody can really tell you how to fill your seemingly-insignificant moments.

The point is, nobody can really lead a 007 lifestyle of excitement and unadulterated glamour all the time.
Hell, not even James Bond himself can live his own lifestyle?
At some point he needs to go to the toilet and eat cereal.
He also needs to brush his teeth and do other “mundane” things.

Life also “happens” in the mundane moments between earth-shattering thrills and spills.
Only when you start thinking about those moments do you realize how special they can be.
Music can’t exist without texture, moments of silence and changes in tempo – Otherwise it would be as dull as doornails.
Listening to music also make more sense to me when there are gaps of white noise or nothingness between tracks.
I’m not one for “never ending mixes.”
I prefer playlists with some diversity – Metal co-exists with some softer mood music, spatterings of pop and party tunes.
And then there are times when I wish for utter silence.
And that’s how life is lived like music.

Picture by cataclastica

Stoic Lemonade and practical happiness: Tweet like a twit!

Why did you open a Twitter account?
Can you answer by saying, “I opened a Twitter account in order to …”
Do you use your account to inform people that you need to go to the toilet?
Do you tweet to inform people you need a cigarette?
Is your account for virtue signalling?
Perhaps you need to show everyone out there how clever or beautiful you are?
Do you get off by the sheer magnitude of faceless followers you amass?

I refuse to get pulled into Twitter’s never-ending furore about everything and anything.
On occasion I read the news, but I see no point in reading a thousand opinions.
I feel I drown in an acidic blue sea of noise when I look at people’s tweets.

I find Twitter’s real time updates of the transit system helpful.
This micro-blogging platform isn’t entirely without merit.

But I always smile at this superfluous wonder of our times.
Some postulate that they use Twitter to engage in debate.
Opinions and vitriol hurled back and forth is hardly “debate.”
When last did you admit you learned something on Twitter?
You know you only wish to push your own viewpoint!

This is why I refuse to become part of this.
I won’t teach myself that I need to scream online in order to be heard.
I see no reason to scream anywhere for that matter.

If attempting to process a hundred thousand opinions and flaky emotions on a daily basis makes you HAPPY, then do it!
Personally I can’t, and I’ve chosen not to.
Emotional clutter kills my happiness vibe.

I see no point in being flooded by a never-ending emotional deluge with no practical way of stemming the tide.
In the offline world I can attempt to do some good – I can even make a difference without “hearing” snide remarks and irrelevant, unrelated opinions from at least a hundred faceless onlookers.

But enough of that… I need to go to the toilet now!

Picture by wizzex.

Stoic Lemonade and practical happiness: A wedding killed my Facebook Account!

Two years ago a wedding I attended helped pull the proverbial firing-pin on the “Fuck Facebook” grenade!
The wedding itself was great!
You know when you reluctantly drag yourself to a function and it turns out so better than anything you anticipated.

But here’s the part that got to me.
Call me a sentimental wuss!
Most everyone took pics of the event.
The newly-hitched couple looked good.
But for some or other reason nobody posted anything on Facebook?
Except the bride of course. She was a Facebook friend when I still had that account.
The mother of the bride – Zero posts!
Stepfather of the bride – Nothing!
The Half brother of the bride – No mentions.
Other family members – Ok, by now you can see a pattern – Nobody posted shit!
The real kicker however… After the wedding I saw copious Facebook posts by all of the usual suspects mentioned above.
One or two actually posted random Facebook crap while they were at the wedding! Charming people!
I know!
But somehow nobody really managed to squeeze out even one “Congrats girl – Beautiful day – Well Done?”

Of course I over-analyze shit like this, but that’s who I am.
This led me to check out my own “memorable” Facebook events.
I had 500 plus people who barely managed to raise an eyebrow whenever I posted something truly great!
Well, ok … Something great in my opinion at least.

Right, obviously I did something terribly wrong on Facebook.
I marketed myself incorrectly?
But WTF! Really?
Why do I need to MARKET myself in order to get people to pay attention?
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Stoic Lemonade and practical happiness: Ditch Passion, do something new!

Find your passion by doing something new?
Well, I see “Passion” as a fickle lover, she is often reluctant to reveal much of herself.
She wants me to embark on a journey of discovery.
She wants me to find her, but she wants me to make sure that I want her!
She’s a catch, but she aint easy!

If you run out of options and finding your passion seems more abstract than ever before – make that fickle one jealous.
Forget about chasing down Passion for a while.

Do something new.
Try something that always interested you.
Think about practical things:
Start painting – even if you believe you suck at it.
Try out rollerskating.
Build and fly a kite.
Cook a few meals.
Do some gardening.
Read books that really differ from those you usually read.

Be realistic however…
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Stoic Lemonade: This is a great day, because nothing changed since 2018!

Did you experience any life-changing events when you celebrated the 2018-2019 transition?
I will wager you didn’t.
We would like to believe there’s a mystical force that separates the old year from the new.
Technically we know there isn’t.
But the New Year’s Eve celebration is at least cathartic.
Humans don’t like to admit they need boundaries.
In the electronic world of “infinite scrolling” there’s some comfort in knowing certain things do have a logical conclusion.
You wouldn’t read a book if you knew there wasn’t going to be an “end?”
We do need certain thing to have properly defined endings.
But does anything really change when the watch’s hand creeps past the 12 o’clock mark?
I don’t think so.
You pop a few corks, become inebriated … dance and temporarily forget about your new year’s resolutions.
And then on the 1st of January you discover you’re still the same person after a hard night of partying.
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