Oh hell no! Please, just not the elevator going “up!”

Witness the shock and horror on people’s faces when the elevators are inoperable!
Able-bodied people can become whining sniveling little kids when the elevator doesn’t work!
Sometimes these lost souls forget these are stairs.
No, the stairs are not only a convenient place for catching an illicit smoke!
In all fairness, when the elevators are being serviced or totally out of commission I pity the guy in the wheelchair.
There are also other office workers with medical conditions who do require mechanical assistance to reach their desks each day!
And of course, not all office buildings are reduced to only four or five stories.
Elevators are a modern necessity.
But oh woe is me— Some of those who complain the loudest often summon an elevator instead of being a little intrepid and attempting the adventure of going up one flight of stairs.
They wear these fancy activity trackers on their wrists but nobody likes counting stairs it seems!

People can be amusing inside these tin boxes.
In this day and age, there are still those who have a mortal fear of being in the middle of a “Die Hard” Movie!
Watch them next time there’s the slightest noise coming from inside the elevator shaft.
Then there are the uncomfortable silences that result from suddenly being thrust into other people’s personal space?
That’s not always fun, especially if you have a flu candidate sniffing and snotting behind you!
When garlic, a cigar or an onion enters the lift you often wish you had opted for the stairs!
And don’t forget those who are always in a terrible hurry, they can be mortified when they realize they chose a lift going in the wrong direction.
“Oh no, is this lift going up? Dammit, this is wasting time!!”
That’s just the thing, some clues tell us in which direction the elevator is going.
Prepare beforehand!
Those telltale arrows are a hoot once you understand their function.

But such is life, some people can’t afford to “waste” a minute going up for a while, before coming down again.
I’ve watched some of these time-slaves though.
The time they save by choosing the “correct” lift is often wasted on other trivial matters such as staring at the vending machine for a very long time or discussing the latest TV shows with colleagues.
“Have you heard my latest theory about Game of Thrones, this will only take 30 minutes!”

Occasionally I take any lift, whether it’s going in the “right” direction or not.
Stoicism teaches us there is no “right direction?”
It’s so cool if only to see people’s perplexed reactions when I try to explain that I could’ve waited for a lift to come down or simply spent the same time “waiting inside the elevator” while it was going the wrong way.
More often than not I get this “what the hell is he on about” look!
That’s fine though!
Society won’t ever brainwash me to believe that which goes up will not go down eventually!