You’re not human if uncertainty doesn’t haunt you occasionally.
We’re beings who manage to embed our ideas regarding security within perceived certainty.
181 days ago I set out to create yet another comic strip— after what felt like a lifetime of failure to do so.
I had two companions on 24 October 2019— doubt and uncertainty.
On the morning of the 24th, I knew, as I always had, that I would never be able to silence my need to be creative.
That need to create, however, spoke louder than the fear of failure.
A few personal issues I experienced at the time led me to believe that I had to get back into the saddle and start drawing again as soon as possible.
Without passion that fuels our daily existence, it’s often too easy to fall prey to feelings of uselessness and unwarranted angst.
Before I set out to start work on what felt like the umpteenth iteration of a precursor to failure I had an epiphany—
What if I used my knowledge of what failed previously as a “certainty?”
Often we are adamant to go about it the other way.
We are so dead set on only using our known-strengths that our known-weaknesses are ostracized as being “negativity we needn’t focus on.”
I knew a few things, “certain things” that stemmed from understanding and acknowledging my failures:
More often than not I ran into trouble whenever I tried to create a lengthy and “epic” story.
I just couldn’t ever manage to retain an attention span long enough to diligently work on some or other cohesive construct that spanned a few dozen pages.
Whenever I tried to force my drawings into what I perceived to be a “popular format” I also failed.
And lastly, I decided to do something I could enjoy, and have fun with!
Over the years I created alien creatures and alternate realities.
They could be placed within little vignettes that neither needed to make sense to anyone else or be funny at all.
The comics didn’t even need to be processed as “art” as far as I was concerned.
And I also knew — I needed to find the holy grail of “doing it for myself!”
That would enable me to doodle an occasional “bit of fun” and post it whenever I saw fit.
Yesterday I posted comic Number 90.
I felt that was a milestone.
Maybe 100 posts would have been a better milestone, but then again— who decides what is “better?”
This was the longest continuous “art” project I’ve ever worked on.
This might become a regular chronicle that depicts art as a part of life— and also the life that becomes a part of our art.
Maybe I won’t bother to write a second installment about cartooning as a way of life— and that would also be fine!
But I have a feeling I could enjoy analyzing the deconstruction of the route I eventually took to reach a place where I was unreservedly happy with my work!
The full-length comic that I originally posted 181 days ago is HERE.