I started this blog around the middle of 2018 and the purpose was to vent some anger.
Of course, I didn’t wish to acknowledge it at that stage.
I sought to create a platform from which I could inform humanity of how thoughtless I believed they were!
But here’s the thing.
Inherently people are aware that they are engaged in activities that don’t always uplift them.
If it should come down to our sins, we’re often acutely aware of them.
The deadly ones, as well as those we perceive to be lesser transgressions.
And then, somewhere along the line, I saw myself reflected within the mirror I was supposedly holding to the world.
How did this come about?
My first real post on this blog, which I archived some time ago, took a stab at self-help books.
I was gushing vitriol and lambasting those books for not contributing to anything worthwhile.
And then, one Sunday afternoon, late November 2019, during a tough time within my personal life, I found myself having some coffee with friends.
For reasons I can’t remember, my friend looked at his wife, took a sip from his cappuccino, and talked about a poorly-written self-help book he skimmed through earlier.
Most of the points he outlined were in-line with my observations the previous year.
But I recognized my angry face in the mirror that he held up to me.
My friend called the fans of the self-help-genre “losers!”
He then tossed in a few examples from his circle of friends.
I might not have been as condescending towards the readers of self-help books as he was, but I certainly implied it.
They are losers because they waste their time with things they don’t “get anything from!”
I am also a loser
The mirror was right in front of me.
“So that’s the thing then,” I told myself.
I was ready to dispense my flavor of “self-help” to the world.
But within a hypocritical context, I strove to package it as an “anti-self-help book!”
Of course, I was also a “loser!”
I thoroughly enjoyed books from the greats, such as Stephen R. Covey, and Dale Carnegie.
That didn’t mean I assimilated all the good parts therein— or even any of it!
Occasionally I only look at a book’s table of contents, simply to see in which direction an author’s train of thought went.
That makes me even more of a loser!
I asked him to define “loser” at that point.
It’s fairly difficult to define something without a point of reference.
I’m certainly a financial loser in comparison to the wealthiest individuals in the world.
But maybe other middle-class people might even see me as a peer, or even moderately successful?
Here’s the thing with any form of literature, or any form of entertainment for that matter— we don’t always need to “get” something from it.
If you’re content with watching a movie for sheer escapism value, you might as well use a “self-help” book to while away a few hours.
To each his own?
Today it feels like I’ve come full circle.
That which I initially dismissed as being drivel, I ended up defending.
A happier you— discarding old opinions
Losers are often happier than we imagine— those who lose the conditioning that we need to hold on to everything all the time.
We’re allowed to lose old opinions.
We could benefit from losing the belief we always need to be right.
Yes, you may let go of things that no longer benefit you— especially if it takes up space that could’ve been utilized by something you realize you needed more!
Things that simply take up space, such as habitually preserving old ideas can also prevent you from becoming “more!”
Losers manage to let go of the self-imposed rules that they always need to produce something of value.
Because “value to whom” will also apply!
Produce with honesty, and integrity, that’s often all the value you will need to add to your product.
Especially if that “product” is maintaining a friendship or any other relationship!
And consume “intellectual “thoughts, and perceived nonsensical ramblings without always expecting the very best in nutrition, we need a bit of enjoyment as well!